I'm Here
by vickster51
Summary: My way of processing the end of 9.08. Continues on from the episode and is written from Donna's perspective.


**Okay, so I didn't intend to write this one shot. I'm meant to be finishing my review of 9.08, but that awful ending hasn't left me and the more i thought about it, the nore this needed to be written down. I'm so upset about this story choice. Harvey has suffered enough and it was time for happiness. I guess this is my head's way of processing it. Feel free to let me know what you think.**

**Follows on from the end of 9.08 and is written from Donna's perspective.**

...

**I'm Here**

She wasn't sure how long they stood there, rooted to the spot, the noise of the Manhattan traffic seeping in through the gap in the doors to the terrace.

The first thing she'd needed to do on receiving the call was step outside for some air, the news like a punch to the gut. She'd known the moment she'd heard Marcus's voice on the line. She'd heard it like that only once before and she'd hoped never to hear it again. He'd tried to call his brother, to take responsibility for telling him that they'd now lost both parents, but he'd been unable to get through and Donna had wondered whether Malik destroying Harvey's phone had actually been a good thing. It had meant he'd been able to live without this news for just a little longer.

At least this time she could hold him close to her, try and help him carry the burden of this colossal loss. She'd wanted to before, but had known it wasn't what he'd needed.

Now things were different and she tightened her hold on him, as he buried his face against her neck, as the sobs continued. How was this fair?! How, after all they'd been through, after all he'd lost?! When things had finally been starting to settle and they'd been happy?! She felt the anger within her and yet had no one to direct it at; not Faye, not Forstman, not Malik.

She felt his arms tighten around her, as his knees started to buckle and she kissed the side of his face, a hand stroking the hair at the nape of his neck, somehow finding enough strength within her to hold them both up.

"I'm so sorry, Harvey."

She whispered it quietly in to the air between them, over and over again, as if a mantra that could somehow change the events of the last few minutes. It was all she had to give.

As his sobs subsided, she didn't move, her eyes shut tight against the pain she felt herself. She'd never even got the chance to meet his mother properly, just a handful of calls since that first one not even that long ago.

"It's not fair."

His voice didn't sound like him. It was quieter and younger, as if he'd become the small boy again who'd lost so much of what it meant to have a family so long ago.

"No. It's not. But I'm here, Harvey and I'll never leave you."

His head moved from her neck and she finally met his eyes, the pain within them breaking her heart more than she thought was possible.

"I...What do I do now...?"

He sounded lost and so vulnerable. The triumphant man who'd walked through the door gone in an instance, the victory now so very hollow. Donna's hand stroked his face, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"We take it a step at a time."

Letting out a shaky breath, he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, as his hand drew comforting circles against her back.

"I need to call Marcus."

She wanted to tell him that there was no rush, that his brother had known he'd need some time, but she didn't, as she knew he also needed to hear his brother's voice, to grieve with him. So instead, she nodded and kissed him gently, letting him finally let go of her. He stood for a moment, lost, before asking for her phone, realising he still didn't have one. Having passed it to him, she watched as he moved wordlessly to the couch and made the call, only moving to his side when his emotions broke again, pulling him close to her, so he could find the strength to keep talking.

Plans were made for their trip to Boston the following morning, before she gently ushered him to bed. His arms anchored around her under the soft covers, she kissed him.

"I love you, Harvey. So much."

"I love you too."

His voice sounded tired, all the strength knocked from him.

"Try to sleep."

Once his breathing had evened out, his chest rising and falling beneath her hand in a steady rhythm, Donna eased herself on to her side and reached for her phone on the bedside cabinet. Normally, she'd slip from bed to guarantee he wouldn't be disturbed, but not wanting to leave him for even a moment, she took the risk that the emotional exhaustion would mean he wouldn't wake.

Her first call was to Louis. He'd sounded happy, as if about to tell her something, but she'd cut him off, not in the mood to hear about someone else's good news, no matter how close a friend they were. The change in his tone had been immediate, as he'd assured her that he'd tell those who mattered at the office the next day, adding he'd also tell Faye too.

The second call was answered on the second ring. They hadn't spoken since he'd stormed out weeks before, but it all seemed so unimportant now and her words came out as calmly as she could manage.

"He needs you."

There was a split second of silence. "Is he okay?"

"It's his mom."

Another pause. She didn't need to explain. Someone who'd been through the same loss recognised it.

"I'm on my way. Just let me know where."

Calls made, there was nothing else to do but try to sleep. He would need her and she had no intention of letting him down. She knew the days and weeks ahead were not going to be easy, but at least she was here. By his side. Turning back to face him, she studied his face, finally peaceful in sleep, before resting her head on his chest and closing her eyes, letting the beating of his heart lull her to sleep.

...

_Thanks for reading. Here's hoping the next two episodes at least try and make this easier to bear._


End file.
